Talk to him in person. Don’t invest in him until he has invested in you. In other words, have the define the relationship (DTR) talk. I think he likes me...but i could be rong because he only acts like it when we're nearly alone. Short answer, Amanda: you can’t. And usually men define it on the back of what a woman does that best pleases him and his own personal desires. Amanda. Your man may even be more attracted to you when you show him who you really are and how you really feel. The trouble is, neither of us have been in a proper relationship for over two years and while I’m keen to take the leap, I’m not sure he is. “I couldn’t leave,” the fellow coos. 3. Let him think you have options. If you aren’t his girlfriend, don’t treat him like your boyfriend. Verbally expressing your true feelings forces you to be vulnerable. I want to keep seeing him. It usually comes from a selfish, self-motivated, manipulative place -convincing women it’s more important she be seen as cool by him and not setting up any personal boundaries because then he is free to behave anyway he wants. Edwards’s husband, Thomas Edwards, who founded the coaching service The Professional Wingman, says there are more subtle ways to define a relationship that don’t involve having a … We asked therapists and relationship experts how to approach it, if you’re considering having “the talk." Try to keep yourself one pace behind him in the relationship. Continue to date around and keep your options open, this will get him … Just tell him you’ve been thinking about him as more than a friend and you’d like to go on a date. I know its ridiculous, but I smile when I see im, and he can always make me … Don’t prioritize him until he makes you a priority. I don’t think he’s going anywhere, but I’d like a little more definition. I’m having trouble mustering up the nerve to ask him the status of our relationship, mostly because I’m afraid of rejection (due to past experience), his lack of relationship … When you open up to him, it doesn’t need to be dramatic. Nearly every Hollywood romantic comedy hinges on a dramatic moment when a couple finally must “define the relationship .”. My really good Friend and I have known each other for while. April 9, 2009. How can I define the relationship and where we stand as a couple without freaking him out and losing him altogether? I'm in love with him. Imagine the scene where one lover boards an airplane intending to leave the other forever — only to remain standing on the tarmac as the plane takes off. In other words, you're excitedly dating someone new, and you're ready to take things to the next level — but they don't want to put a label on it, or define your situation in any way. Know when it's the right time to define the relationship—and when it isn't. My suggestions: Number one, own your feelings. Telling him face-to-face is the most romantic, yet nerve-racking way. But when you’re being cool and calm, he might consider the fact that other men are after you too, and therefore actually move faster into a relationship anyway. Good for you, dealing with this before it becomes a problem. 1. When you’re rushing into something, it makes it obvious that you aren’t interested in anyone else. He had held my hand, given me numerous hugs, and even let me put my head on his shoulders (he put his on mine and his arm around me). Alternatively, if you’ve been friends up until now, ask him to meet with you one-on-one and get ready to share your feelings.